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Wallpaper – T Rex EP

by Greg Szeto | August 18th 2008, 8:00 AM
Posted in Album Review |Audio |Wallpaper
Comments (12) |

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MP3: Wallpaper – T Rex

I gotta say, I’m impressed.

We here at Aural States get a lot of music. A lot. The majority of which is mediocre to above average. A surprising amount is actually quite good. There are very few things that come across my digital desk that I immediately toss into my personal “hate” pile, reserved for boy bands, inane cock rock and pointless and meandering stoner-jam bands.

But we have a new contender for most obnoxious, hated album of all-time. Meet Wallpaper.

I am always looking for a silver lining to any predicament, as I am never aiming to write a slaughtering review like the pack of rabid dogs at Pitchfork are so eager to. But there is almost nothing redeeming about this EP to my ears.

The beats are repetitive, essentially 4/4 stock factory presets on any Casio. There is no complex interplay of any of the lines in the music, they lock together with the mindlessly simple dimensionality of 4 squares forming a big square. The constant voice modulation becomes cliched and grating within the first 10 seconds, and by the end of a song, it turns laughable and can only be a failed attempt at parody.

The funk of hailed single “T Rex” feels painfully forced and is exacerbated by limitlessly obnoxious, machismo-laden lyrics (“I go big on the weekends, I go T Rex”); you can readily visualize a random bro-guy popping his collar, gelling his close-cropped hair, pouring on the Axe and strutting into the club, chest-puffery and all. But at least the beat is serviceable and danceable, which is much more than you can say for the remainder of the album. “The Remix” continues the painful lyrical content, constantly reaffirming that “This is the remix” and babbling idiotically dropping such profound and witty lyrical phrases as “TV dinner dates” and “college girl is a microsoft headband for free” … positively torturous and easily dated pop culture references.

Wallpaper have managed to distill everything that is distasteful and untalented about Top 40 dance club hits into a calling card sound. This is material that was likely scooped up from the cutting room floor of Kylie Minogue, Madonna and innumerable other populist electro-funk dance acts, where it should have stayed to rot.

I highly recommend you stay away from this album. Unless you are looking for a laugh. I’m going to be brutally honest here: this is one of the worst albums I’ve ever heard.

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12 Responses to “Wallpaper – T Rex EP”

  1. Anthony Fantano says:
    August 18, 2008 at 10:21 am

    I love the faux deep-voiced host making stupid narrative comments in between verses!

  2. love/hate says:
    August 18, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    That is bad.

  3. Alephnaught says:
    August 18, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    To be honest, when I was listening to it, I was thinking it was being ironic and arch, the “Casio” beats (And indeed the simplistic one-finger keyboard melodies) were more deliberate “retro” 80s electro touches, and “T-Rex” was an incongruous reference to Marc Bolan. :) If they are being “serious”, then it’s still quite funny in an overblown over-serious Falco “Rock Me Amadeus” kinda way.

    In fact, are you sure they’re not extracting the urine? I mean, doing a song called “The Remix” and repeating “This is the remix” throughout doesn’t sound entirely serious to me. Still, if it is a joke, I do they add a bit of variety to their sound, or else, it’s going to wear thin pretty quickly…

  4. Greg Szeto says:
    August 18, 2008 at 1:23 pm

    Agreed, the more I think about it, the more it must be a joke. But honestly, I think this album is pretty un-listenable, no matter how you spin it. It has comedic value somewhere between Carrot Top and an encyclopedia of knock-knock jokes. By the time “The Remix” rolls around on the EP, you really don’t want to hear anymore.

    And I also agree on the Marc Bolan reference. In fact, it is more profound since many considered him a bad joke, and more completely disposable…which is exactly what this album is. I doubt there is British pop stardom in store for these cats, though. And I don’t get any inkling of more profound or trail-blazing thinking from this stuff. Their material is better suited as a band in residency at a bar or dance club…not an album and tour.

    If I want disposable music, there’s plenty in the top 40. And much of it isn’t nearly as grating as this.

  5. michael pulsford says:
    August 18, 2008 at 6:27 pm

    ‘Too harsh, Roy?’

    ‘Not harsh enough, H.G.’

  6. Alex Mudge says:
    August 19, 2008 at 12:09 pm

    The fact that a T. Rex is involved combined with the sheer awfulness of the project calls to mind Theodore Rex, that movie with Whoopi Goldberg and a T. Rex police detective set in the future.

  7. Sgt. Skinner says:
    September 2, 2008 at 8:42 pm

    It’s a parody… GET OVER IT. It’s meant to be funny, stupid and not at all serious.

  8. MisanthropTK says:
    January 25, 2009 at 11:14 pm

    I think that saying its intended to be stupid is an overshot, but it certainly is a parody, and coming from the East Bay where Hyphy (the culture that Wallpaper is a send up of) is a reality, its a very good parody at that. The lyrics are more intelligent than they seem if you acknowledge the sort of stale pop culture you assumed this was related to as apposed to mocking

  9. Alex Mudge says:
    January 29, 2009 at 9:52 am

    Hyphy?

  10. Alex Mudge says:
    January 29, 2009 at 9:57 am

    MisanthropTK,

    Keep in mind Aural States is an East Coast blog. The fact that there was a whole scene of this stuff out in San Francisco was unknown, at least to me.

    Hyphy:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyphy

  11. david says:
    April 30, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    You guys are all a bunch of pussies. This is bad ass and I can’t believe you guys are haters. Honestly, as pretentious as you sound, I think you missed the point. Obviously you should stick to music that maybe has a little less depth.

  12. Greg Szeto says:
    April 30, 2009 at 4:10 pm

    i really think the whole point of a parody is to make some sort of commentary or statement. a straight-faced parody needs more meat (see weird al), or should exist as satire.

    and for that to sustain interest for longer than a track, you need to bring something more to the table than the desire to goof on something. you need wit. this has none.